Nixalina, founder of Sex & London City a blog about sex, dating and love.
So, with all this in mind, 110 days into 2016 I found myself minus any decent male company, sexually frustrated and at a press event sipping champagne. That's where I met a guy who, with no preconception of me or any idea of who I am, wanted to continue the party back at his place.
I have always wanted more with the men I sleep with, and made the assumption that I have to want a relationship with that man to also want him in my bed. but I've now realised, this is not the case. I can, if I so desire, just want the sexual connection.
Tipsy and admiring his good looks and bags of confidence, I made a decision to oblige. He was so physically beautiful I'd have to have Mother Teresa's willpower to have said no. And I categorically do not have that willpower.
Thus, I broke my vow with a one-night stand. And it was the best thing I ever did.
Aside from the immediate physical relief, I felt like I had just shaken off some goblin clinging to my back, watching my every step.
I felt free again. I no longer had to worry about swerving any advances or answer a billion questions about my vow. But more importantly, I discovered that actually I do enjoy sex without wanting to lock a man down.
I have, for my whole life, only ever wanted sex with a man I was emotionally invested in. I felt one-night-stands were pointless and degrading and I'd be judged by society if I engaged in such activities.
I made no effort to see my vow-breaker again, and nor he with me. I wasn't shunned or sad or feeling used, quite the opposite in fact. I felt empowered, desired and glad it happened.
It feels pretty liberating to be able to say, I'm a 29-year-old single female and I can have no strings sex if I so desire. I must express though, very heavily, that this does not mean I head out every night for a bang – quite the opposite.
I am looking for the next big relationship. I want something more meaningful than a drunken quickie.
I haven't been with a guy since April and I'm okay about that too. But what it does mean, is that should I find myself in a one night stand situation, I won't scold myself with guilt or be full of shame for taking him home.
I do not regret taking the vow, but I also do not regret breaking it.
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